This week we will look at the Narcissist. Why? Because this week alone I heard three different women complain about their narcissistic husbands – two of which are now ex. All three of these women were decent intelligent ladies who adored their families and their husbands. So what went wrong?
All three women fell for these charming attractive men – and regretted it ever since. So how do you recognise a narcissist?
A narcissist looks rather like anyone else. Although they are usually very well groomed, and have cultivated attractive personalities. They do this to attract people to them – so they can use their ‘subjects’ as they please. A narcissist works a little harder at their act and costumes than most other people.
Why? Narcissists think that the world and everyone in it revolve around them. There is only one way to do things – and that is their way. They need others to push around.
In a normal marriage (whatever that is) there are two people who hopefully work together to make their joint decisions. For example, they might both decide where they might go on holidays, or what they might do on the weekend. Thus, marriage is about two people who meet each other half way. It is all about give and take.
With a narcissist, they do all the taking , while their spouse does all the giving.
After years of being beaten into submission by the narcissist, the other party has lost some (or much of) their confidence and their identity. In all three cases, the narcissist got bored with the submissive wives and sought out new challenges. New people bolster the narcissist’s ego.
If you do accidentally get caught by a narcissist, you will need a way to look after yourself, because you will be the only one doing so.
How do you do that?
You get an old exercise book or a journal and write about how you feel. Write about your fears, your anger, your sadness and anything else you have been feeling. And write until you have let it all out. Then let is go out of you and onto the page. Once you have spent some of your pent up emotion, you will make space for other thoughts to surface. Often these thoughts let you see a way forward more clearly.
To put it in other words, your emotions block most of your thoughts in your mind. Your journal helps you turn down the volume control in your brain. That way you can let an insight or two squeak into your thoughts. It is these insights that will guide you on how to handle your problem.
If you want more information on what journal writing can do for you, you will soon be able to buy Fast Track Real Confidence on www.fasttrackreal.com under the Tab BOOKS or from Amazon. Release date is mid-November his year.