Dianna, a self-confessed perfectionist, discusses how she expects others to be perfectionists too. Once she read Fast Track Real Confidence, and started using her cards (now an App), she realized how futile this was.
Like Janet S., I used to expect myself to be perfect. However, while I was writing about my own dismal attempt to be perfect, I took it one step further. I realized that I expected others to be perfect too. I kept getting disappointed in others when they did not live up to my ideal of perfection. Why was my partner not perfect, or at least try to be perfect? The more I watched him, the more I criticized him. I thought I wanted the perfect partner. I wanted someone who matched me better. He was so chilled out all the time, which made me pick at him more. The more I picked, the worse he got. Even the rubbish under the house that he kept talking about, never got taken away.
He started coming home later and later. And one night he did not get home at all.
That I when I took up journal writing with the cards. I realized that no-one was perfect, even though I believed I was. That misguided belief cost me my marriage.
I am not going to let that happen again. I admit my standards are lower now. At least, they are realistic.