I had an argument with my husband about our eldest boy, Alex, who was up to no-good. My husband wanted to punish Alex severely, and I wanted Alex to talk to a counsellor. So I wrote down all the details in my journal. What Alex had done, what my husband said, what I said, and what Alex said. I also wrote about how I felt about the situation. I let it ‘all hang out’. I did not stop until I had said it all. When I finished writing, I stopped and took a deep breath. Then I reread what I had written. Next I picked a card for the day which said ‘identity’. I read the quotes for ‘identity’. I found one I really liked. So I wrote that down. Then I wrote about the argument – and our problem from that angle. Suddenly, it seemed clear to me what we needed to do with Alex. It was so simple and glaringly obvious. I knew it was the right thing to do. We needed help with this one, and my husband and I needed to talk to someone together first, so we were on the same page. We did not have expertise in this field. It was all new to us. We needed someone who had dealt with this situation before. Amazingly my husband agreed. Thankfully my journal took the brunt of all my emotion, so I could think clearly and carefully about our problem. I am so grateful for my journal – and the cards. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that we have a way forward. Plus my husband actually told the counsellor that he was relieved that I had thought of such a sensible solution.